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Thursday, February 26, 2009

Making a hotel home 

I've developed a new habit in making a hotel room home. I bring several books with me. I always travel with books, but now I make a point of bringing more books than I could possibly read. I line up the books on some surface, the desk if there's room, the top of the fridge, the litle table against the wall. Anywhere - but anywhere that I can see them from wherever in the room I happen to be. When I was in North Carolina at a trauma psychology conference, I had a line of a dozen books on the desk, then more lined up under, as I kept buying books by panelists I listened to and wanted to learn more from.

There was a time when all I needed to feel like home in a hotel room was a pillow and knowing which side of the bed was mine (sometimes this necessitated violence against my little brother).

I'm not nearly so secure anymore. I'm skittish. I feel wary of rented rooms that aren't mine, that are so impersonal. I worry that the lifeless room will make me as lifeless as I feel and have felt for two years. It's so easy to feel paralyzed in a room that looks like any of a hundred rooms, like a room in a hospital but with uglier paintings glued to the walls and colorful bedspreads.

These books are currently gracing the top of the fridge, the fore edges against the small microwave.
Security blankets don't need to be made of cloth. They should be cuddle-able, though. Luckily, books are. :)

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